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Once someone said "i wasn't sure whether she would be able to take of the child or not" - the "She" here was refereed to be me and that person who made this comment was someone I assumed to be pretty wise old man given his way of talking and work experience. Seems like no matter how you know someone, see someone- end up perceiving or even you can say "creating a persona" of a person (I do not want to say "judging" someone)- people end up disappointing you. The thing is we see them from our own point of view. We want them to be "our kind of person". Truth is they are what they are and some might try creating an image (some are really concerned about creating an image or put up an impression in front of people) But my dear....you gotta know what you can handle and what you want. the more you know your abilities, capabilities and your wants- the more better you are with dealing with life. Truth is- f*** it, leave it. Do not give a…
A very good thing happened today. Instead of being very happy.....i became numb. I started missing my dad. I wish I was able to share my happiness with my royal bengal dad. I would have loved to think what he would have said. Or what his thoughts were on the topic. But Allah has a different plan for us. Thus I miss out on so many stuff. Anyways.....i hope things go fine with me and I can become more like my dad. And I will try to be proud and content with my achievements.
It is 4.31 in the morning.....ate my suhur time meal...prayed and right now I am completely at peace. I mean i am genuinely enjoying the time of solitude right now. Baby Z is asleep....he has trouble falling asleep...i achieved my goal of weekly baby nail cutting time. Feels like all is in place for doing those certain prioritised stuff. Fazr waqt is gone...only a cup of tea or coffee is missing to make the whole memory perfect. 😊
I am surely going through a rough patch. I mean seriously! GIVE ME A BREAK! I am tired of battling way too many emotions. I am overwhelmed. I m shattered. I am battered at times. I hate it. I seriously hate it. How can you define the emotion of....feeling overly happy and content one moment and not so happy in the next moment. You are sure of something and then again you just clueless about it like some stranger living in Antarctica? I am so so tired of all this crap. I am so so blessed. I know I should be thanking ALLAH now and then for this. I should be happier with all that I have. Then again I am posed to such weird problems and issues- you just feel like running away. I mean WHY??? Why couldn't i handle it properly? Why could I not know the fact which was evident to so many people. What was I on? Was I on dope? Fact is I thought I was bad manager. But trth is not ALL can be managed. I am so frustrated with it. After attaining motherhood the strongest feeling I have is …
Been facebooking like crazy since evening. Shared a lot of posts. Weirdly coming across all the good stuff. Lately work has been crazy. Boss is bogging me down

April moods

So here I am! relaxing......I have applied my aloe gel gifted by my colleague..just chilling out over some teen show called "awkward" and sometimes enjoying my lite reading by Jenny Han, I should say Life is good Alhumdulillah right? No matter if that means somethings are not. Even if a major part of void is there in your life- yet for right at this moment....Alhumdulillah. Maybe tomorrow that void will be filled up but this chilled out mode might not be there. I was talking to my mom about post partum depression for like 2 minutes. She referred to our earlier generations of women who did not know about it and who could not balme the "hormones" what did they do.....Well I said they just went with the flow of life. Then now when I think about it...it is raising some issues....is knowledge really a power? or Is ignorance is a bliss? WHAT is the RIGHT way to define it? Perspectives....... Time...tide...situation and person- these all define the perspective. Re…
Lately i have not been feeling that well physically. I just feel I could do better but I don't. Coming and staying with my mom is what i do.....so that Baby Z is taken proper care with help. Can't put in words How Important parents are. The biggest blessing on earth and hereafter. amen to that.